No we are not taking a trip to Dallas, and thankfully no one around here is dealing with bowel movement issues. I’m talking about DISCIPLINE.
I don’t think I realized we would need to think about discipline so early on. But honestly, we’ve been confronted with some little behavioral issues lately that I feel really unprepared for. I’m seeing signs of my sweet little boy developing a bit of a temper, and he certainly doesn’t know how to handle that little temper yet. I know that it is my job—and Josh’s—to teach him how to act, through loving discipline. I just don’t know HOW to do that…
That’s where all you come in! I love it that our blog is private now and I know exactly who is reading it. I know that many of you reading this have kids a little older than Noah, so you have walked this road (and are likely still walking it!). I could really use some of your advice!
I’m almost embarrassed to say this, but the main issue we’ve had is Noah hitting us. Me & Josh. In the face. Yeah. He often does it playfully, and I honestly believe he thinks he is just playing. But he also does it out of anger and frustration. Like if we’ve just told him “no” for hitting us playfully. Then he will get a sour look on his face, cock his little arm back, and hit us again. HARD. Oh it just breaks my heart. It really breaks my heart to see my little boy actually get angry with me! I’m sure some of you are laughing right now, and I DO know that this is only the beginning. But I’d like to nip this issue in the bud soon.
So far I haven’t seen him hit any other kids, or any other adults for that matter. Just us. And I’ve seen him take his little temper out on his toys too. The other day his Fisher Price Animal Parade giraffe wasn’t quite fitting into the spot where he wanted it, and that poor little plastic animal took quite a beating from my boy. A cart at Target has felt his fury too.
Whenever he hits us we get down on his level, look him firmly in the eye, hold both of his wrists, and strongly tell him “No sir! We do not hit” And then we leave him sitting and walk away. Oh, how this upsets him. But I am not sure that it is working…cause, he’s still hitting.
So my question for all you is, what has worked for you? I am not against spanking (done the right way under the right circumstances), but I don’t feel that Noah is old enough for that yet. And I also think it is a little dumb to teach him not to hit by hitting him. I also think he’s too young to understand time out. But I am curious to know what discipline techniques worked for any of you with kids at this age, and also as they get a little older. At what age did you start spanking, if you did, and under what circumstances? What about time out? Also, can anyone recommend good books on discipline?
I’m sorry for such a long, picture-less post. But I am really struggling with this. And feeling a little overwhelmed because I know how important it is for us to get this right. I would appreciate any advice you have! Leave me a comment, or email me if you’d rather. mdosborne26@gmail.com. Thanks!
5 comments:
Katie and Brent have been using Time Out (they call it "Thinking Time") with Walker, and it seems to be working well. Spankings stopped being effective. Noah may be a little young for understanding time out, though.
We're in the same boat. Andrew likes to bite and headbutt- but he does it to Jason and I usually when he's playing. It's so hard to discipline him, because he doesn't understand what we mean sometimes. We do the "No Sir" and walk away, and I've actually spanked him a couple of times. I don't think that the spanking works, because if he hits and then you spank him he's not getting the right message, but it does seem to work when he is getting into something that he's not supposed to. It is so hard at this age to discipline your kids, but I think just following through and being consistent each time he misbehaves is the most important.
I used looking you and your brothers right in the eye and saying "No" very sternly. It must have had some effect, because I think you three turned out pretty good.
Oh my gosh, Mandy! We are going through the EXACT same thing!!! I agree, I don't know exactly what to do either. I try to just ignore Cole, but I know that's probably not the right thing to do. We aren't against spanking either, but I agree with the "don't teach not to hit by hitting" theory. Patrick CAN'T STAND the idea of timeout, but I think you have to pick your battles. You obviously can't spank them EVERY time they act up, so I think timeout can be effective for the small issues. I've always heard to do 1 minute for each year of their age. So Noah and Cole would have to do 1 minute of timeout. I've also heard that when they are this little, you have to sit there with them, but don't make eye contact with them, and don't talk to them. The "place" has to be consistent too, so they associate it with punishment. Honestly, I have NO idea, so PLEASE share any advice you get!!! We need these boys to be SWEET:)!
I have heard great things about this book but have not read it myself yet.
http://www.amazon.com/Discipline-Book-Better-Behaved-Child-Birth/dp/0316779032
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